Fordham Miller Fare

please stand by. we are experiencing technical difficulties...

on the few occasions i have tried to run over to the computer and file a quick post, i am envariably dogged by technological mayhem.  internet too slow, computer hung up on memory hogging virus detection software, or the computer just plain crashes.

anyway, where was i?  oh yes.  lice.  the post below was written in early march.  i managed to resolve the bug problem with my own head in two easy treatments, but inexplicably madeleine's remains a constant battle.  i simply can not understand the tenacity of these creatures.  no matter what i do, they come back, after weeks of checking and seeing absolutely nothing.  here's what i have NOT done:  i have not tried mayonnaise; i have not tried olive oil; i have not tried the electronic Robi Comb; i have not tried combing through her entire head every single day of the week, which by the way takes an hour at a minimum, and washing her sheets every day, and cleaning the entire house every day, and getting rid of all hairbrushes and headbands and hats and all whatnot.  i HAVE tried Rid, cetaphil (the Rid plus cetaphil combination worked on Morgan), Resultz (which cured me), and just plain combing on an every two to three days schedule.  i clearly will NEVER get rid of them, so i might as well just get used to it!  i'm going to try next the "Head Lice to Dead Lice" program, which involves olive oil, and is meant for 'persistent infestations.'  and i promise not to bore you with any of the details anymore.  ugh, on top of everything is the tediousness of it all!

head lice. they're not just for kids anymore.

that's right.  after getting ready to declare madeleine yet again free of the creepy crawlies (ha!), i came down with them myself.

the good news?  that after the third go around, i purchase a product called Resultz i found on the internet.  it has been approved in Canada, but not here, but was easily (although somewhat expensively) purchased through the internet.  i used it most recently to treat madeleine, and was delighted with the fact that (1) it is not a neurtoxin, and one needn't call poison control should it get into one's eyes, and (2) it does not require the massively labor intensive approach of the cetaphil program.  the active ingredient is apparently found in everyday cosmetics, including lipstick, which can either make you say, 'a delousing agent?  in my lipstick?' or 'thank god there's something you can just pour on your head and wash off without major risk of chemical exposure.

i won't bore you with the details - oh, okay i will.  it works by dissolving the waxy coating on the lice, thereby dehydrating them.  think of it as a kind of citrasolve for the insect world.  saturate the hair from roots to tip, wait ten minutes, and shampoo out.  it is a pretty oily substance, so my experience has taught me that at least two if not three shampoos in a row are necessary to get the hair really clean again.

my googling shenanigans have earned me enough of a reputation that i ended up selling a bottle of the beloved lotion to a friend in the late evening hours.  thankfully i thought to re-order - just in case.  here's hoping this stuff does the trick.  if not, i'll be emulating twiggy for my next haircut.

threat levels

biocontaminants: code yellow.

pestilent life forms: code orange.

chemical hazards: code green.

upon entering the domicile, please report any sore throat symptoms to the nurse on duty, reporting any allergies to medication, especially antibiotics, at that time.  kindly hand over your toothpaste, toothbrush, and dental floss, as well as any other dental appliances.  these shall be returned to you after a run through the sanitization cycle, but only on an as needed basis.  abandoned dental aids will be triple-bagged and sent to the incinerator.

please report any itching of the scalp to the nurse on duty.  surrender any hairbrushes, combs, headbands, pony tail holders, and stuffed animals.  these will be subject to appropriate sanitization procedures, and returned on an as needed basis.  hair checks will be conducted on an erractic enough schedule to ensure the survival of at least one reproducing adult.  therefore, please be prepared to repeat this process in 6-8 weeks.

there are currently no active chemical hazards, so you are free to enter and depart rooms as you please.  however, in the event of an unanticipated release of mercury, you will be asked to vacate the premises immediately until proper mercury cleanup protocol can be accomplished.

your patience is appreciated.

winning the battles. losing the war.

lice.

we successfully avoided them for 8 years.  then in september it started.  the 3rd day of school i found lice on both kids.  so i treated.  and combed.  and washed the sheets.  and banished the stuffed animals.  and combed.  and retreated.  and then we were done.

i initially treated with the over-the-counter formula - fun with neurotoxins! - but after my usual googling i decided that for all forthcoming treatments i would go with the decidedly less toxic nuvo protocol.  it goes like this: wash hair.  dry hair. apply 16 ounces of cetaphil gentle face cleanser to hair.  comb excess cetaphil cleanser out of hair.  blow dry hair.  all in all, it takes about an hour and a half to do maddy, about half that time to do morgan.

then, mid-way through november, maddy reminded me to check her hair, because lice had been recently identified in class again.  and right off the bat i found one.  augh!  so, i treated, and retreated, and combed, and examined.  this time around, not so many, and morgan didn't get it, and by the day before thanksgiving, i declared us yet again, lice free!  i swear, two months ago we were lice free.

tonight, maddy complained of her head itching.  she has a recent scar on her scalp from a bad fall she took (4 staples) so i thought maybe that was it.  but the scar also happens to be where the critters like to hang out most.  i couldn't find any of the critters themselves, but i found one egg, and then another.  at first i thought they were old stragglers from the earlier bouts. but then i found another.  and another.  and you know, where there's smoke....

so tomorrow i am in for it again.  washing, drying, shampooing, combing, blah blah blah.  i'm just praying nobody else gets 'em (so far it hasn't happened, but...knock on wood).

in sickness and in health

happy thanksgiving.  we are in lake placid, new york, reliving a family tradition of ours: the vacation illness.

   

thinking back, it probably all started in the summer of 1995 when bill and i (newly minted as a 'we') travelled from the east coast back to madison, wi.  we stayed over with some friends of bill's in ithaca, ny, one of whom had just whethered a stomach bug.  sure enough, 2 hours into our drive to madison, bill came down with it.  i'll spare you the gorey details.  we made it just shy of ann arbor, michigan, where we pulled into a super 8 motel and called it a day.

   

of course, kids only added to the likelihood that a vacation would involve a trip to the local hospital.  so in welfleet, july 2005, we were in town for about 4 hours before bill and maddy headed to the hyannis ER.  diagnosis: scratched cornea.  camping in vermont, august 2004, 4 hours in, morgan came down with sore throat and fever of 101.  after two hours in burlington's fletcher allen medical center, the doctor agreed it was likely strep, although morgan refused to open his mouth for a throat culture.  turns out: hand, foot and mouth (which is NOT to be confused with hoof and mouth disease).  we spent the night at my dad's house in hineburg, thankfully avoiding a whopper of a thunderstorm.

   

but bill and i have had our share of ER visits as well.

   

when i was seven months pregnant with madeleine, i threw out my back.  the pain was so severe that it radiated across my abdomen, and as we were on vacation in the relative sticks of upstate new york, i thought a visit to the local glens falls ER, where their labor and delivery department has the unfortunate name of 'the snuggery', was in order.  several thousand hours and 4 surgery sodas (so as to induce fetal activity at 2 a.m.) later, after determining that all was well in utero, i left with a prescription for codeine, realizing quite quickly why people might find it addictive.  after taking the appropriate dose, i didn't so much feel as SEE the pain disappear, like a heinous pirate ship slowly sailing away over the horizon.  someday soon i will tell you my latest, and perhaps last, experience with the opiate family.  but not today...

   

okay, trip to austin texas, january 2001, first morning there, bill pulled down a metal vertical blind on his wrist.  this one was pretty severe - bill suffered some permanent nerve damage, although the damage was sensory, not muscular, thank goodness (but still no picnic).  it meant he was wrapped up in bandages our entire trip, and had neurosurgery (neurosurgery for goodness sakes!) upon our return to new england.  yipes.

   

narragansett, ri, july 2003.  stomach flu.   another trip to austin, february 2007.  strep AND croup (three doctors visits in three separate cities).  and now, lake placid.  stomach flu again.  oh, that and the fact that we are on 'lice watch II - 2007.'

   

so there is a big pavlovian reaction to the beginning of a vacation, pretty much wherever we go.  if we are settled in, if things look like they are smooth sailing for the next several days, our spines tingle in anticipation of the calls to the 'triage nurse,' the search for the local medical facility, the hopes and dreams temporarily shoved aside for the more immediate matter at hand.   

   

today, madeleine is feeling better, and eating progressively more complicated solid food.  the heads are, by my best estimation, lice free.  and we are settling into some quiet family time, the kind of which we rarely have at home.  the weather, it's kinda schmutzy, but the town is pretty and devoid of throngs of tourists, the christmas lights are up, and overall, it's kinda cozy.  so far, so good...

the descent into summer madness has begun

the laundry, dishes, the bills are piling up.  the weather is heating up.  we're travelling too much, and i'm adopting too many caterpillars (11 to date).  so that's why i'm not here.  because i'm under the delusion is that all i need is a couple of hours and i will have cleaned the house, painted the porch, started and finished the landscaping, gotten back on budget, gotten back to an exercise regimen, gotten back to healthy eating, gotten my kids back to healthy eating, accomplished everything on my "what i wanted to do this summer", organized and filed all the kids' materials from last school year in anticipation of the coming school year, and will be ready to blog to my heart's content each and every day of my leisurely life.  the meltdown is coming into view.  pray for me.  pray hard.

p.s.  caterpillar update.  the original four that we delivered to morgan's preschool had turned into chrysalli by the time we got back, so we kept them at his school.  they've since emerged, and we are working on 6 chrysalli and one caterpillar on the home front.  pictures maybe in this lifetime.

what is cool?

i seem to have fallen off the blog horse a while back, and have been trying to think of a way to get back in the saddle again.  luckily amy seems to have had this same problem, and since her return-to-posting post was on the subject of cool, i figured i'd make it easy for myself and throw in a variation on a theme, namely, why i am un-cool.

it recently came to my attention, through my university of wisconsin alumni mag, that in my college days i apparently hit on a Black Eyed Pea -- albeit quite unsuccessfully, and therefore evidence to my status of uncool.  now, i know what you're thinking -- i hit on one of these guys?  that's pretty cool.  no, no, no.  i actually hit on one of the founders of the black eyed peas.  to be more specific, this guy (bottom left).*  and to add more fuel to the uncool fire, i can't really explain to you why these guys are who you find when you image-search for the Black Eyed Peas, while the guy in question was one of the group's founders** but appears to be pictured nowhere else on the web.  i only know what my wisconsin alumni mag told me, and that a name like mike fratantuno is hard to forget, especially when he makes the point of telling you that it's actually michelangelo guiseppe frantantuno the third, which is why i remember it sixteen years later.

also, do you remember my blue uggs?  and how lots of people gave me compliments on them, which had me thinking they were cool, when really i thought they were the epitome of uncool?  well, phew for me, because they ARE uncool.  in fact, i was reading this article about lindsay lohan in W magazine, i think, and her agent or somebody was recollecting back to a time when lindsay just HAD to have those cornflower blue boots -- and yes, that meant it had to be at least two years ago, because she wouldn't go anywhere NEAR them now.

now this next one may be uncool, or it may just be being middle-aged, or being a parent, but i am seriously considering ebaying my 20gig ipod that i won (i won!) from verizon, and which remains in its factory sealed box, in order to get the funds to pay for a SANDBOX for my kids.

finally, how cool would you feel if you knew that some stranger who searched on ask.com for "how to make unwashed hair look clean" had your blog as their third hit?  hmmmmm?  i rest my case.

*which should in no way deflect from Mr. Fratantuno's coolness -- in fact, he is clearly quite cool, what with penning a grammy-award winning song and all.  it's just to say that he doesn't LOOK as cool as those other guys that you see in all the promo pictures.

** should you doubt me: "As founding members of one of music’s most creative and unique groups, the Black Eyed Peas, Terence Yoshiaki, Brian Lapin and Mike Fratantuno helped to define a groundbreaking sound and vision for the multi-platinum selling recording artists."  QUOTE FOUND here